Oompa Loompa Beds

The house I grew up in is still my parents' house. It's the one I go visit and the one I sleep in the night before Christmas, an odd weekend here and there, and when my sister, her husband and baby Sonia are visiting. I only live 40 minutes from them, so it's rare I sleep there rather than just drive home, but it happens probably 10 times a year, at least.

Since we all moved out, my Mom now proudly has two guest rooms and an office. One guest room has a queen sized bed and the other has two twins. This is a pretty smart configuration. She can host people who want to sleep together (such as my sister and brother-in-law) or people who want to sleep separately (such as my aunt and a cousin from Buffalo). It is also a configuration that mostly just screws me out of a good night sleep.

When I sleep at their house and my sister is not in town, I can happily climb into the queen bed and have a relatively good night sleep even though the bed is not my own. Whenever I sleep at their house and my sister is also in town, I get a bed in the twin room. My sister and my brother-in-law are particular about sleeping in a bed someone else has slept in, so each time I sleep in the queen, my mother or I have to change it completely. One time, I was sleeping there and my sister was due home in a few weeks and my mother actually suggested I sleep in a twin bed instead to save having to change the bed. Insane.

Let's be clear about twin beds. They suck. And the ones in my mother's guest room suck in particular. They were in my sister's room while she was growing up. We've tried to get her to replace them. They are super-mini twins or something weird. I do not fit in them if I am completely stretched out. They are also super narrow or something weird too, because I can hardly turn over in the bed without falling out.

Know something about me here: I slept in a twin bed until I was 30. I was poor and cheap and single all through my twenties, so I took my childhood twin bed with me to Maryland and then LA. I borrowed a twin when I moved to Colorado in 2002 for the ski season. I only bought a queen when I re-entered real life in 2003. So I'm no stranger to twin beds. And I am not any bigger than I was then, so I'm not sure what is wrong with these twins.

I sleep terribly every time I sleep at my mother's and am regulated to one of these beds. I was complaining about it to a friend and he said, "Oh, yeah, Oompa Loompa beds suck." Ha! He and his brothers have been calling twin beds after those little creepy slave-men in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory for years. How great! I would like to invite an Oompa Loompa over to my parents' house, put him in one of those twin beds, and show my mother once and for all that it is just not reasonable to ask me to sleep in one.

Last week, my dad's cousin John slept in one of the beds after a night of imbibing. The poor man, even though he's in his mid-60s, was not allowed to sleep in the queen bed, because my sister was arriving the next day and my mom, having returned to school/work did not have time to change that bed before she got home. He left the bed unmade when he made his escape the next morning, after probably sleeping a grand total of 22 minutes all night (or perhaps the key to a good night sleep in one of those bed is alcohol). I arrived Friday and just climbed right in behind him. "But John slept in that bed!" my sister cried. "So?" I asked. "For one night. What could he have possibly done that would require me to change the sheets?" She just looked at me doubtfully. When I got into bed and placed my always-with-me glass of water on the bedside table, I noticed something weird on the small little book set there by my mother for guests. Ah! John's gum! Hilarious!

Apparently, John is planning on sleeping over again next Saturday after a big wedding we are all attending together. I can share the room with him, both of us uncomfortable in our Oompa Loompa beds and wondering about the fact that we're sharing a room. Or, I could make my way 3 miles to my brother and sister-in-law's house and sleep in their spare room, which civilly, has a queen bed.

Knowing John, who in many ways, I am built after, he'll just crawl into the same unmade bed, because damn, "She only slept there one night, right? What could she have possibly done that would require anyone to change the sheets?"

And if an Oompa Loompa happens to stop by, he can have the other bed, because I'll be at my brother's.

Of Weddings and Such

I haven't posted about my brother's wedding yet. Right afterwards, I was still trying to settle it all in my head and figure out what to write. I knew what I thought without question, but how to do it justice in writing was what I was unclear about. I still am, really, but it's been 10 days, so here goes.

It was hands-down the best wedding I've ever been to. (I don't want to hurt my sister's feelings, and she knows that her wedding was the most interesting that I've ever been to, so everyone gets a superlative!)

It was nice without being pretentious, fun without being forced, it had moments of hilarity, moments of mouth-hanging-open shock, and lots and lots of love.

In a nutshell, the schedule was Friday night rehearsal dinner followed by a slide show of my brother and sister-in-law from childhood on put together by two of her friends. Saturday I spent 6 hours in the bridal suite, getting hair done, hanging out, running errands for the bride, eating pizza and yelling at family/friend passers-by from the balcony. Church was at 4, cocktail hour at 5, and reception from 6-11. Post-party in the bar till 1:30 and post-post-party in one of my brother's friend's hotel room till 3:15 when I finally went to bed. Good times.

Highlights include my sister-in-law crying so badly during her vows that she had to stop for a minute, used a tissue, and then stuck it in my brother's tux pocket sticking out like a hanky. The entire church burst into laughter that lasted about 30 seconds. Other highlights: a cousin who thought bringing a huge dog to the outdoor cocktail hour was a good idea, another cousin who thought doing the breakdancing move the worm in her dress was a good idea (until she ended up bare-assed to the world), my family friends telling my sister-in-law at the party "Your last name isn't just Boss now, it's Boss-Marsden-Arsenault-Notini", and me negotiating with my sister-in-law that maybe the only person who should go back to the bridal suite is her husband and how about 3:30 as a good time for that?

Another obvious highlight was the presence of my niece, who is so unbelievably cute I could hardly believe it. Seriously. She's amazing. Click here to see her at the rehearsal.

I was not looking forward to this wedding. I was annoyed I didn't have a date, I was starting to think there it was too big and too much planning. I'd been worried about my brother and sister-in-law as they tried to finish last minute projects and buy shoes at the last minute. I was completely and totally surprised by it and I loved every minute.

My brother and my sister-in-law love each other very much. That was clear. They have made a choice that is good for both of them and I think they will be together for a very long time -- forever. Their wedding made me realize anew how important the ritual of marriage is. I don't want a "real" wedding. I don't want all the stuff - all the accoutrements. It's a very personal decision and I think it's over the top and it stresses everyone out. I applaud my friend Katie who is currently planning her own wedding, which will have only 30 guests. But that doesn't change that I want a wedding. I want friends and family to gather with me and watch me and a partner tell the universe that we love each other and that we plan on doing so for the rest of our lives. I want to look pretty and to have his family welcome me to their family and he be welcomed to mine as a matter of ritual. I don't believe in "maids of honor" but I sure believe in "best women."

I am pleased for my brother and sister-in-law, who not only enjoyed their own wedding (standing in the center of the dance floor screaming "Don't Stop Believing" at the top of their lungs with the rest of us) but threw one hell of a party that was enjoyable for all. I am pleased for myself to have had these revelations. Nice when happiness and learning and awareness all converge.

Planet of the Dogs

After I posted my Children's Lit post, I got a comment from Robert McCarty, who wrote Planet of the Dogs and Castle in the Mist. They are two in a series of three, the third of which comes out this October.

He offered to send me copies of the first two books with the understanding that I would review them here on my blog and post comments to his website as well.

I received them in the middle of a crazy week which included my brother's wedding, so it took me longer than usual to read them both. Yesterday, I finished Castle in the Mist and thus, below is my review.

These are soft-cover chapter books meant for kids aged 8 and up. They are set in "olden times" of an undefined year. Folks ride horses, and they live in villages and there aren't roads, but paths. There are castles and warriors and no guns. There are peaceful, farmer villagers and "city" dwelling meaner people as well. In the first book, there's an impending war brewing.

The dogs on the Planet of the Dogs are aware of the no-good happenings on Earth and bring Daisy and Bean, siblings, through their dreams to their planet to introduce the children to dogs, of which they know nothing. They bring dogs back with them to help bring love, understanding, and peace to Earth.

The fantasy involved in the books is appealing. It involves dream sequences, travel through space and time between planets, dogs who can talk to children and healer-women through thoughts and barking, and seeing information through dreams. The reality involved is also appealing. It involves the universal love of dogs by humans and vice versa, human condition of fighting and war and capacity for love and peace.

The second book, Castle in the Mist, picks up where the second left off in regards to character development and introduces a whole new land and cast of characters (a la Harry Potter). In this one, the past-violent-cum-peaceful Bik of Stone City has his two young children kidnapped by a Prince who doesn't understand peace or dogs or anything really and the dogs, along with the humans, work out a plan to save the children.

While reading these, I kept wishing I was reading them out loud to a couple of kids instead. I could imagine each night reading another chapter and the kids waiting with bated breath for what would happen next. I could imagine the kids greeting their own dogs in the kitchen without talking, just squinting up their eyes real tight and sending "thought messages" to the dog much to the wonder of their parents.

The illustrations are lovely as well, done by Stella McCarty, Robert's wife. They are black and white and are done in pencil (I think) so they aren't super eye-catching the way we seem to think everything has to be these days for kids. But I think the softness and care in them will appeal to even the youngest children.

All in all, I would recommend these books, which are available on Amazon, B & N and at Barking Planet to any kid who loves to read and to any parent looking for a good book to read to younger kids.

Much thanks to Robert and Stella for sharing the books with me!