I haven't posted about my brother's wedding yet. Right afterwards, I was still trying to settle it all in my head and figure out what to write. I knew what I thought without question, but how to do it justice in writing was what I was unclear about. I still am, really, but it's been 10 days, so here goes.
It was hands-down the best wedding I've ever been to. (I don't want to hurt my sister's feelings, and she knows that her wedding was the most interesting that I've ever been to, so everyone gets a superlative!)
It was nice without being pretentious, fun without being forced, it had moments of hilarity, moments of mouth-hanging-open shock, and lots and lots of love.
In a nutshell, the schedule was Friday night rehearsal dinner followed by a slide show of my brother and sister-in-law from childhood on put together by two of her friends. Saturday I spent 6 hours in the bridal suite, getting hair done, hanging out, running errands for the bride, eating pizza and yelling at family/friend passers-by from the balcony. Church was at 4, cocktail hour at 5, and reception from 6-11. Post-party in the bar till 1:30 and post-post-party in one of my brother's friend's hotel room till 3:15 when I finally went to bed. Good times.
Highlights include my sister-in-law crying so badly during her vows that she had to stop for a minute, used a tissue, and then stuck it in my brother's tux pocket sticking out like a hanky. The entire church burst into laughter that lasted about 30 seconds. Other highlights: a cousin who thought bringing a huge dog to the outdoor cocktail hour was a good idea, another cousin who thought doing the breakdancing move the worm in her dress was a good idea (until she ended up bare-assed to the world), my family friends telling my sister-in-law at the party "Your last name isn't just Boss now, it's Boss-Marsden-Arsenault-Notini", and me negotiating with my sister-in-law that maybe the only person who should go back to the bridal suite is her husband and how about 3:30 as a good time for that?
Another obvious highlight was the presence of my niece, who is so unbelievably cute I could hardly believe it. Seriously. She's amazing. Click here to see her at the rehearsal.
I was not looking forward to this wedding. I was annoyed I didn't have a date, I was starting to think there it was too big and too much planning. I'd been worried about my brother and sister-in-law as they tried to finish last minute projects and buy shoes at the last minute. I was completely and totally surprised by it and I loved every minute.
My brother and my sister-in-law love each other very much. That was clear. They have made a choice that is good for both of them and I think they will be together for a very long time -- forever. Their wedding made me realize anew how important the ritual of marriage is. I don't want a "real" wedding. I don't want all the stuff - all the accoutrements. It's a very personal decision and I think it's over the top and it stresses everyone out. I applaud my friend Katie who is currently planning her own wedding, which will have only 30 guests. But that doesn't change that I want a wedding. I want friends and family to gather with me and watch me and a partner tell the universe that we love each other and that we plan on doing so for the rest of our lives. I want to look pretty and to have his family welcome me to their family and he be welcomed to mine as a matter of ritual. I don't believe in "maids of honor" but I sure believe in "best women."
I am pleased for my brother and sister-in-law, who not only enjoyed their own wedding (standing in the center of the dance floor screaming "Don't Stop Believing" at the top of their lungs with the rest of us) but threw one hell of a party that was enjoyable for all. I am pleased for myself to have had these revelations. Nice when happiness and learning and awareness all converge.
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