When Allowed Amongst the Boys

It's been a long time since I spent time amongst a group of boys. I say "boys" because this particular group has known each other a good while and have a long history and when touring down memory lane, boys is the best term for them. Today, I was treated to such a day, and it was as fun as I remember it being in high school and college. How did I lose this part of my life?

At one point, one of them said "It doesn't get better than this. We could tell these same stories tomorrow and they'd be just as good." That's at the heart of it. Friends gathered, drinking beer or Jack and ginger and just being together. I'm pretty sure I didn't hold my own, or represent women very well, but I drank a bunch of beers and did my best to listen well and ask questions where I thought they were relevant.

I'm not sure we women know what to do when let into the little club for an hour or an afternoon. Especially when the history isn't shared. If I dropped right this second back into a room with my three boys from high school, I think I'd feel at home because we share that history. Even though they are men who I don't know anymore and I am a woman who is a version of the girl they used to know, we could still fill an afternoon with stories and laughter. We were all there, at any of the settings of any of the stories. This time, not the case for me. But men, and these men are no exception, like to tell stories about themselves, even more so to a willing, listening, questioning audience.

After the fact, in the car, being driven home by the one who I am friends with (the other two are his, not mine), I gave my impressions of the other two. I'd met them both before, but not seen them in a while. I told the truth. That I like both of them and that I think they are good for him. And that I think they are big huge softies at heart who talk a good game. He laughed. A big, deep, open-mouthed belly laugh. He can laugh all he wants, but I'm not buying it. He wouldn't be friends with them if they weren't. It's why they call each other when they need something, are there when the chips are down, and give advice when it's sorely needed. It's same as what we women do for each other, just with a different cadence and at a higher (or lower, depending) decibel level.

I absolutely love the day after a holiday. Black Friday, New Year's Day, Boxing Day. Sleep in, eat breakfast out, and sit around just being with friends who matter. Like he said, "There's nothing better..."