Things I Don't Get Enough Of - Part II

Sex.

I have never had enough sex. Ever. Except for one two-week period once which was bliss, but painfully short-lived.

I used to be grateful that if I was going to be single so much, then at least I hadn't had a lot of sex, so I didn't really know what I was missing. That was when I was about 22. Now I have every idea what I'm missing, having had a tiny bit of lots. And so I lament. Often.

I love sex. Love it. I know some people don't. That's fine. I don't judge. But I don't get it. How can anyone not love sex? It's awesome. It's fun and physical and dirty and messy and loud and wet and smooshy. And it can be emotional and deep and meaningful and actual shift your perception in another direction. It feels great. The hormones released are super good for you and make you healthier. What's not to love?

Okay, sure. There's the dangers associated with sex. Disease, unplanned pregnancy, UTIs, yeast infections, and regular old pain from overuse of body parts. Most of these things are preventable with a little bit of planning or a little bit of monogamy. I'd go out on a limb and say all the risks are worth the journey. I don't stay home because I might get in a car accident - I just do the things required of me to avoid one and hope everyone else is doing the same. In this case, I actually have some more control over whether others are doing the same.

One of my primary complaints about being single is that I don't get enough sex. My awesome body (I have a regular body - it's no finer than anyone else's really, but I dig it) gets no regular use. My boobs, which have maintained much their perk well into my 30s are going totally unadored. My skills (some that are pretty good) go unused. It's a sad state of affairs (or no affairs, as the case may be).

I wish I could have someone to have sex with over time. Someone to learn with. Someone who I get to know so well, I know everything they want and like and can try new things with. Someone who I know just the button to push at just the right moment. Of course, it'd be nice to have someone provide that to me, as well.

I know a number of people who are partnered and I know don't have lots of sex. I get silently annoyed with them. They should have having as much sex as humanly possible in order to make up for those of us who don't get to have any. And to make sure the Universe knows how pleased they are that they have access to regular sex. (Partnered people: get on that. Have more sex.)

I have, at different times, yelled at both my siblings about the fact that they get to have sex and I don't. I once told my sister she had no business questioning when I choose to first have sex with someone new because she knows where her next f@&k is coming from and I don't and have to get them where I can. (Those were the actual words used.) I yelled at my brother to ask his wife what to pack to go to Vermont, not me. I basically said that the person you have sex with owes you help with these kinds of things since they get sex and since nobody was having sex with me, I'm off this hook. (Granted, I was having a major fit at that point in the conversation, but my point was made and taken.) See? Lack of sex will make you a crazed lunatic.

One final note: I am not one of those women who is confused about how to be the master of her domain. Believe me, I would've been paying up right after Kramer.

Things of Which I Don't Get Enough (A Series)

First in a series of things that I don't get enough of.

Water.

I just don't get enough of this. I suck at it. It's just not that hard. Drink 8 cups of water a day for a regular person, and for an active person, drink twice that. This means I should drink at least 4 of my water bottles full each day, to get 96 ounces. I should really add one more water bottle since I'm riding my bike 18 miles roundtrip to work most days. If I'm lucky, I get 2.5 bottles down. One during my work out and another 1.5 through the day. I often end up having to stock up in the evening because I've not drunk hardly any all day. (And that, to say the least, does NOT help with my small-bladder-pee-at-least-once-a-night-in-the-best-of-times problem.)

If I manage to keep Crystal Light individual packets around, that definitely helps. Any kind of flavored water goes down easier than regular boring water. I buy them often, but they are expensive! I don't use a whole one in a bottle of water so they last longer, but still.

If I drink room temperature water, that helps too. Very cold water does not work for me. And ice? Forget it. Too annoying on my mouth, my teeth, and rumor has it that your body has to exert energy to warm the water up in order to hydrate from it. And then, I just proved that rumor untrue by finding this: "Cold (40 - 50 degrees F) water is absorbed more quickly from the stomach. Also, if cold water is drank during physical exercise has the dual effect of also cooling the internal body temperature along with sweat produced by exercise. Since sweat is your body's way of cooling itself, leave sweat on your skin and you should feel cooler." And so.

Now, my family will tell you that I've been dehydrated from childhood. I figured this out a few years back and have been giving my mother hell about it ever since. We were given juice and milk. And when we played outside in the snow for a long time, hot chocolate. My dad mowed the lawn all afternoon and then drank a beer (a Bud Light, usually, so yeah, but still). My mom had a half a glass of soda for dinner and didn't even finish it. I think in the 70s, they didn't know the human body needed water, or something. I have no other explanation since my parents are super responsible in every other way - feeding us correctly, breast feeding us when it wasn't en vogue, keeping us safe from the cars in the street, making us bundle up, knowing where we were when we went out even in high school. My mother once said "What? My pee is always almost orange." This from a woman with a master's degree.

I had horrible headaches and backaches all through middle and high school. I was ferried off to every doctor under the sun. Although not sedentary, I wasn't an athlete, and there was no real explanation. "Stress" was the final word. I don't remember any doctor asking about liquid intake. I seriously believe I was severely dehydrated all those years. I have not had headaches with any regularity in my adult life, since I started being responsible for my own hydration.

This is a struggle though, I think for many people. I'm pretty sure that most people don't get enough water. I read an article recently about how it's a myth that coffee or soda is actually working against hydration. The author was positing that any liquid is better than none. However, I just found this statement: "The drinks you mention — beer, coffee, and cola — are all water based. Even though they contain carbonation and caffeine, they are still a form of fluid. So if you were stuck in the middle of a desert, you would probably last longer drinking coffee and/or cola than you would if you drank nothing."

The next time I'm stuck in a desert, I'll have all the coffee and soda I want. Until then, I'm going to work harder at drinking more water every day.