Things I Don't Get Enough Of - Part II

Sex.

I have never had enough sex. Ever. Except for one two-week period once which was bliss, but painfully short-lived.

I used to be grateful that if I was going to be single so much, then at least I hadn't had a lot of sex, so I didn't really know what I was missing. That was when I was about 22. Now I have every idea what I'm missing, having had a tiny bit of lots. And so I lament. Often.

I love sex. Love it. I know some people don't. That's fine. I don't judge. But I don't get it. How can anyone not love sex? It's awesome. It's fun and physical and dirty and messy and loud and wet and smooshy. And it can be emotional and deep and meaningful and actual shift your perception in another direction. It feels great. The hormones released are super good for you and make you healthier. What's not to love?

Okay, sure. There's the dangers associated with sex. Disease, unplanned pregnancy, UTIs, yeast infections, and regular old pain from overuse of body parts. Most of these things are preventable with a little bit of planning or a little bit of monogamy. I'd go out on a limb and say all the risks are worth the journey. I don't stay home because I might get in a car accident - I just do the things required of me to avoid one and hope everyone else is doing the same. In this case, I actually have some more control over whether others are doing the same.

One of my primary complaints about being single is that I don't get enough sex. My awesome body (I have a regular body - it's no finer than anyone else's really, but I dig it) gets no regular use. My boobs, which have maintained much their perk well into my 30s are going totally unadored. My skills (some that are pretty good) go unused. It's a sad state of affairs (or no affairs, as the case may be).

I wish I could have someone to have sex with over time. Someone to learn with. Someone who I get to know so well, I know everything they want and like and can try new things with. Someone who I know just the button to push at just the right moment. Of course, it'd be nice to have someone provide that to me, as well.

I know a number of people who are partnered and I know don't have lots of sex. I get silently annoyed with them. They should have having as much sex as humanly possible in order to make up for those of us who don't get to have any. And to make sure the Universe knows how pleased they are that they have access to regular sex. (Partnered people: get on that. Have more sex.)

I have, at different times, yelled at both my siblings about the fact that they get to have sex and I don't. I once told my sister she had no business questioning when I choose to first have sex with someone new because she knows where her next f@&k is coming from and I don't and have to get them where I can. (Those were the actual words used.) I yelled at my brother to ask his wife what to pack to go to Vermont, not me. I basically said that the person you have sex with owes you help with these kinds of things since they get sex and since nobody was having sex with me, I'm off this hook. (Granted, I was having a major fit at that point in the conversation, but my point was made and taken.) See? Lack of sex will make you a crazed lunatic.

One final note: I am not one of those women who is confused about how to be the master of her domain. Believe me, I would've been paying up right after Kramer.