The Wedding Date

The Wedding Date was a movie with Debra Messing (Grace, from Will & Grace) that came out in 2005 and was generally sucky. Of course, I saw it. That was the year that I was writing down every movie I saw in the theatre. (NB: I just pulled out that list and can't find the first two pages containing January - May, and since The Wedding Date was released in February, I can't confirm I saw it in the theatre, but I bet I did. I'm lame like that.)

Anyway, the premise is that this woman has to go to her sister's wedding and hires a dude to pose as her boyfriend and go with her. Of course, in the film, hilarity ensues, everyone's best intentions are effed up, and while I can't remember for sure, I'm certain that she falls in love with him, and he with her, all in the course of 48 hours. That's Hollywood for you.

I have 4 weddings this year. Four. That is the most I've had in one year, ever. How I got to be 35 without having a heavier year of weddings is a marvel, really. Perhaps it's a commentary on the fact that I don't have enough friends. Or perhaps I just don't have enough friends who manage to get married. Whatever. Facts are, there are 4.

I have few issues going alone, as usual. I've never actually been to a wedding with a date. Ever. (That's weird, actually, and probably another comment about me, but I digress.)

The rundown:

1. (This one is over and is therefore out of the mix, more or less, for the purposes of this post.) Was in Ohio and required a lot of expensive travel, so I wouldn't have really asked someone to do that with me anyway, even if I was dating someone. It was fine. I was seated at the "student-affairs-and-ex-student-affairs" table and we had a great time.

The three remaining are up-coming weddings, and are presented below in the order they will happen:
2. My brother's wedding at a swanky resort in N.H. for a whole weekend with every family member and friend of our family invited.

3. Old family friends (like siblings really) Andrew and Jillian's wedding. Party van hired by Butch, whole family riding together, no overnight stay required.

4. Cousin Micaela in N.Y. Have to drive to Buffalo, my whole family invited, won't know anyone else there.

Which of these three are the problem? Easy. My brother's. It is paining me severely that I may have to attend this shindig alone. My brother's friends and my almost-sister-in-law's friends are all 7 or more years younger than I and more than half of them are married or partnered. This is my only remaining sibling to get married and both of them are younger than I. I have a big, fancy, paid-for-by-someone-else hotel room for two nights that will only host me. I will have nobody to dish with after the wedding because my sister has a baby now and will need to go to bed and let's face it, doing that with my parents is just sad at this point. I want someone to dance with at that wedding who isn't my dad. The list goes on. Need I?

I have exhausted the possibilities. I am not dating anyone. Those who I've been on dates with recently don't make sense to bring with me to this event. I've asked my ex to come with me and while he's still considering it and trying to figure out if his crazy schedule will allow him to make the trip to NH, I am 90% sure it isn't going to happen. I considered, for half a second, to take a friend with me, but then decided that was just so imposing on the two friends that would even be possible (and one just had a baby, so she's really impossible) that I couldn't do it.

So, here I am. Choices at this point? Buy a date? Become Debra Messing? Post an ad on CL and offer someone sexual favors for coming with me? Or, hold off on the sexual favors and assume that, as in Hollywood, if I'm cute and awkward enough, he'll fall in love with me by Sunday? Jesus.

My brother and almost-sister-in-law are being champs. They have put me at a table with 8 other people with the ability to add a chair at any point. They have to give an number to the hotel peeps on Tuesday, so by Monday, I have to either have a date, not have a date, or not know and pay them $46 to hold the spot for me (this is because I'm obviously not asking my almost-sister-in-law's father to pay for a 10% chance that I might have a date). I am one of the cheapest people on earth. Am I really going to pay $46 for something that there's a 10% chance of? Or is it time to just let go?

I don't know the answer yet, and since it's Thursday, and I have 4 days to figure it out, I'm going to take all 96 hours of that time. I'll let you know.