A bite of a Vegemite sandwich

Everyone knows the song Down Under by Men at Work, but apparently not everyone knows the words or what they mean. Who knew?

I'm at the Fourth of July party that I've been to for the past 20 years or so. This year, though, the usual couple who throws it is in Alaska on a cruise, so their kids are in charge. These are people I've grown up with my whole life who are like siblings to me. They are much younger (I'm the oldest of this second generation by far) but are being responsible and good hosts. There's lots of differences in this party, such as the fact that drinking games abound and until everyone gets a little drunk, it's sort of boring.

My brother and his fiance get a hold of the beerpong table (called Beirut by the kiddies, but I'm rolling old school) and proceed to trounce everyone who challenges them. They have been the reigning champs for about 2 hours when Jillian insists that I become her partner. I try to tell her that's a bad idea - that I suck at beer pong - that I don't even know the rules. She's having none of it. So we go. We go and we kick some serious ass.

In the middle of the game, Down Under by Men at Work comes on. We are all sort of singing along and then my brother, who is known to sing at the top of his lungs in social settings occasionally, begins to sing loudly. This verse is on:

Buying bread from a man in brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscles
I said, do you speak-a my language?
He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich
And he said,

I come from a land down under
Where beer does flow and men chunder
Cant you hear, cant you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover.

Instead of "...and gave me a vegemite sandwich" he sings "...and gave me a bite of his sandwich" at the top of his lungs. He's just gotten done mocking me for missing a shot, so I said, "No! Vegemite sandwich!" He looked at me in confusion and said, "What? Vegemite? No! Bite of his sandwich!" Those on the sidelines start chiming in "I'm with you, S!" "What the hell is vegemite?"

I, of course, say, "Vegemite is this gross shit they eat in Australia" since at that moment, I can't remember what it is made of. No wonder I can't remember, since it's the leftover yeast after they make beer. Vegemite has added veggies to it, while marmite is the straight up yeast. It's disgusting. All my peeps in Thailand ate it. Their parents and friends would mail them jars of the stuff so they wouldn't have to go without. For some reason, the Brits like marmite and the Aussies like vegemite. (I've heard from a good source that Salacious B. Crumb is not picky and likes both equally.)

In this moment, though, nobody's buying it. My brother, at this point, stops listening to me and begins to sing, to the tune of Down Under, "I got a turkey, lettuce sandwich with no mayo." He hates mayo. Jillian turns to me at the other end of the table and says, "He hates mayo?" and I explain that my sister and brother both have, but my sister eats it now, he never would. "Weird," she says.

We finish the game, which was close, with him threatening us and getting increasingly play-annoyed that we are going to oust them. When we win, Jillian turns her back on the table, shakes her booty in his face and yells "Eat my mayo! Have some mayo!" That was pretty hilarious.

The next day, I dutifully look up the lyrics, paste them into an email, find the Wikipedia entry for vegemite, and send it all along to my brother, his fiance, Jillian, and one or two of those sitting on the sidelines. Everyone responds back that they'd been singing it his way for years, and he just emails "Vegemite is made up." Which is his way of admitting he had no clue.

Wonder if any of them know what "chunder" means. Don't think I'll ask.