They were useful in Paraguay, a country of red-mud-roads that flow like rivers in the rain, which is often. The ability to take off your shoes, rinse them out and have them dry and ready to go in only a few minutes is fantab. They were useful as waitress shoes, with black socks and with black pants nobody knew I had on rubber shoes.
Now, I have to say, I am amazed by how many people walk around the world in these shoes, in hideous colors like it is perfectly normal. What are they thinking? Is it the call of the easy clean-up? That is a perfectly legit argument for the parents of any aged child. I have often pointed out entire parades of children this summer in their Crocs and have said to whoever I'm with "What did parents do without Crocs?" I mean, think of it. Kid runs around all day, gets dirty, jumps in puddles, crawls through wood chips, whatever else kids do, and all you have to do is put them in the sink with the dinner dishes and Viola! clean shoes for the next day. And kids can choose whatever color they want. They are kids. They are most likely wearing their cape from last Halloween's costume or some pink tutu thing they won't take off even to sleep, so who cares what color their shoes are?
But I draw the line at grown men and women. I find the men are worse offenders than the women. We girls like to look cute. So we have the white ones or the brown Mary-Jane's or whatever. It's the beer-slugging, t-shirt wearing, I-only-bathe-during-the-week men who are in the orange ones. How did that conversation go at the store?
Man: I think I might get a pair of these. What do you think?
Wife/Girlfriend/Partner/Friend: Sure. Easy on, easy off, comfy, you don't think the boys'll make fun of you?
Man: Nah. Eff 'em. I always bring the beer to poker. They don't like it, they can buy the beer.
Her: Okay. Whatever. I'm going over here to look at the cute little ballet flat ones.
Man: Meet me at the register.
5 MINUTES LATER
Her: Um, orange? You're getting the orange ones?
Man: Yeah, why? Not cool?
Her: Um, no, they're fine, I guess.
Man: You getting any?
Her: Nah, I've got better things to spend $30 on.
Man: I can't wait to wear these. To the sales person: Will you put my other shoes in the bag so I can wear these out of the store?
Her (to herself in her head): Oh jeez. Orange? I have to walk down the street with him now like this?
Apparently, W and Nicholson have been seen in them.
I have to say, Jack, fine. Whatever. You're old, you don't give a shit. (Not sure why you are also standing pigeon-toed like you are three, but fine. Blue Crocs. Go on with your bad self.) But W? How did this happen? And why the socks? Did Laura or Jenna or someone come back to Kennebunkport from Kittery with these and say, "Hey Dad or Honey or Dumbshit or whatever they call him, we think you should wear these. Aren't they cool?" Or did someone in the Cabinet do it as a joke? Who authorized him putting them on? He doesn't just pick his clothes and head out, does he? At least they are black.
I brought both pairs of mine recently to the soup kitchen where I volunteer because my mom and I were both arriving from elsewhere and needed closed-toe shoes. I made her wear one pair and I wore the other. She put them on (on the street in Boston where I parked), looked down at her feet, and said, "These are so ugly! I can't believe you wear these shoes."
Malcolm Gladwell explains how these things take over the Universe in The Tipping Point. Critical mass, enough people doing something that it seems normal, this is how this happened. But W has no excuse. None. Then again, he doesn't have an excuse for most of what he does.
**Thanks to the post-suggester for this post idea and special note: this is my 125th post since I began this blog in May of 2006.
1 comment:
Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!
Post a Comment